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FAQs - Sex
What is the right age to start having sex?
There is no right or wrong age to have sex. Having sex can be fun, but it can also have consequences that may affect your life. You need to decide if you feel ready for that. It has to be up to you and feeling pressured can make sex less enjoyable for both partners.
I haven't had sex yet and everyone else has. Is there something wrong with me?
No, there's nothing wrong with someone just because they haven't had sex. Deciding when to have sex has to be your choice, otherwise you may not enjoy it as much. Good friends won't judge you or pressure you into doing something you don't feel ready for.
How do I put a condom on?
- 1. Tear along one side of the foil making sure that you do not damage the condom with sharp fingernails or jewellery as you squeeze the condom out.
- 2. Put the condom on when the penis is erect, but before any pre-cum is released.
- 3. If you have one, pull the foreskin back over the head of the penis before you put the condom on. It should sit behind the head of the penis fairly easily when it is erect.
- 4. Hold the condom teat between the thumb and finger making sure the condom is the right way for unrolling. This stops any air being caught the teat otherwise the condom could burst.
- 5. Using your other hand unroll the condom down the entire length of the penis, while still holding the teat. Ensure the condom does not come off during sex.
- 6. After ejaculation make sure you hold the base of the condom in place as you withdraw, only when the penis is completely withdrawn can you remove the condom.
- 7. After use make sure you tie a knot in the condom, wrap it up and put it in the bin. Don't flush it down the loo.
I'm in a relationship - I don't need to use condoms!
You may be certain of your own sexual history, but what of your partner's? And what about the sexual histories of your previous partners? Not to mention your partner's previous partners' sexual histories...!
But what if we're both virgins?
As long as you can be 100% sure, both you and your partner are not taking any risks (unprotected sex with someone else or sharing needles) AND that neither of you have a sexually transmitted infection, (including HIV) then you may decide that you don't need to use condoms. But remember that using condoms also protects against unwanted pregnancy and cervical cancer. A trusting, steady relationship often provides an ideal, and safe way to experiment with condoms and become confident about using them.
How safe is oral sex?
Oral sex has been shown to be a less risky activity than unprotected anal and vaginal sex, but is definitely not risk free. For a fuller discussion of oral sex and the possible risks Click here
What is a dental dam?
A dental dam is a 6 inch square piece of flavoured latex or poyurethane (suitable for people with latex allergies) that can be placed over the vagina and/or anus to make oral sex safer. A condom cut open or a piece of non-microwaveable clingfilm can also be used.
It's only anal sex that's risky, right?
Wrong! Unprotected anal and vaginal sex both carry risks for both partners. Anal sex is slightly more risky because the lining of the rectum is not self-lubricating and tears more easily than the lining of the vagina. During sex the penis, vagina and rectum can sustain minor cuts and scratches which, although invisible to the naked eye, are enough to allow infected body fluids into the bloodstream. Using a condom or femidom for vaginal sex and a condom with some water-based lubricant for anal sex will greatly reduce the risks.
But I'm on the pill!
There are many different forms of contraception that offer protection against pregnancy but only condoms and femidoms, when used correctly, are effective protection against HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. Worldwide a lot of heterosexual couples consider anal sex an effective form of contraception but, unprotected anal sex is a high risk activity for STI transmission.
What is fisting and is it risky?
Fisting, inserting part or all of the hand into the vagina or rectum, carries a risk if there are cuts or open sores on the hand. Wearing a latex glove will reduce the risk. Fisting can cause cuts or tears in the lining of the vagina/rectum and so make subsequent activity such as oral sex or rimming more risky.
What is rimming?
Rimming, licking in and around the anus, is not thought to be high risk for the transmission of HIV but is risky as far as contracting Hepatitis A+B and other types of infection are concerned. It can be made safer by using a Dental Dam.
What is SM and is it risky?
SM or sado-masochistic practice involves the giving and/or receiving of pain and/or exploration of power relationships as part of sex. The range of SM practices is vast - it may involve no physical contact whatsoever through to drawing blood, so the risks will vary depending on what is done. Often the risks are more psychological than physical.
Is it safe to play with sex toys?
Sex toys might include vibrators, butt-plugs or strap on dildos. Sharing sex toys can be risky as body fluids may be passed from one partner to another in this way. They can be made safer by using a new condom on them for each partner which will help protect against HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. It is also advisable to wash them thouroughly after use.
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