Coping with an HIV positive result 

Reaction to an HIV positive result can be different for everyone, you may want to scream, shout, cry, hide, run away, feel numb, scared, lonely or relieved. Whatever your initial reaction, give yourself time to get used to what has happened to you!

When you are ready you will have to decide what to do next, choose things that work for you! HIV can bring anxieties, one way of tackling this is to get information, to help you decide what is the best action for you to take next. You may decide to ignore your diagnosis and just carry with your life, it's your choice.

Who to tell and how to tell them
Who you tell and how will take a bit of thinking through. There can be advantages to talking openly about your status, but it could cause you problems. Be careful who you tell, don't rush off and tell everyone straight away - you might regret telling them later. Do they really have to know? If so do they have to know now, or can you leave it till later? But sharing the news of your positive status with the right people can strengthen personal relationships and help you feel less isolated.

Talk to people you can trust, but try to make sure they will respect your need and right to confidentiality on this issue. Try to make sure whoever you discuss it with is sympathetic to your viewpoint, someone who won't judge you on your lifestyle, sexuality or being HIV positive.

Whoever you tell be prepared to deal with their concerns, their possible panic, their tears, this might be hard for you on top of your own feelings about what has happened! Some people find that being totally open about their status gives them great strength and lifts the burden of secrecy. Other people tell no one, but could be missing opportunities for support and care that disclosure might bring.

Partner
If you're in a relationship, the news of your positive result will have an impact on your partner. Consider the highly emotional aspects of revealing your status and, if possible, avoid the 'heat of the moment' to reveal all. No two relationships are the same, so it's difficult to give advice in this situation.

If you're going to tell, don't delay it for too long, your partner might resent you keeping it to yourself, adding unnecessary worry about any risk of infection that they might have been in. If you discussed the issue before you were tested, talking through the result might be easier.

Previous partners
Telling previous partners will depend on a lot of things, including whether you're still involved with them now, whether they need to know, perhaps because you had unsafe sex with them before you tested for HIV and whether you and them are able to deal with feelings of blame about who gave whom what!

Friends
Telling friends could well give you an idea of who will be able to support you and who not! You will still need to decide carefully who to tell, but telling a close friend could be a good place to start! A real friend will, although possibly shocked and worried, support you and carry on as before, helping you to tell others and support you through problems.

Family
If your immediate family are supportive and loving, your news will bring them anxiety and hurt, but could also strengthen your relationship. You know your family better than anyone, telling a close family member first may help to tell the rest of your family.

Tutors/fellow students
There is no obligation on you to tell tutors or fellow students. But telling a personal tutor may provide you with another support person who could help you if you need to take time out from your studies. If you are a biology student and might be called on to give and take blood to study, you may wish to disclose your status to your tutor or ensure universal precautions are applied to this activity.